Oldest sister found dead; real tragedy occurs when middle sister assumes leadership role

family pooptrait

I had a family of six until Melissa kicked the can.

My sister Melissa was short like my mom, blonde like my dad and when she was younger, she liked to make naked Barbies have sex.

My siblings and I were never given the option to dislike one another, which prompted us to grow unnaturally close. Before Melissa died, our roles in the family were clearly defined by birth order.

adventures with vrah pack leader

middle children

baby needing diaper changed

Joe still needs his diaper changed.

It took me years of relentless teasing to break my brother. Joe and I played fun games together, like me teasing him and him asking me to stop.

“Cut it out!” he would scream.

cut it out 1

cut it out 2

cut it out 3

Joe would finally just walk away.

big teddy

Once his back turned, I dropped his possessions.

My fingers moved in rapid scissor motion. I murmured: “cut, cut, cut…”

Oldest sister found dead; real tragedy occurs when middle sister assumes leadership role

He would shout:

But I was always doing the scissors.

Oldest sister found dead; real tragedy occurs when middle sister assumes leadership role

As a middle child, my role included skirting my responsibilities.

adventures with vrah stay still

Despite my mother’s best efforts, I was usually acquitted.

adventures with vrah stay still 2

Emily bought us lunch.

emily did brave things

Melissa was the hardest sibling to torment because she was a step ahead of me. Eighteen months is a significant age difference when you’re a kid.

She knew I was a greedy little girl who loved money, so she glued a quarter to the kitchen floor.

someone dropped a quarter

In high school, I wore cool t-shirts.

she's smart

don't ask don't tell

At the same time that I was wearing these shirts, I was desperately trying to hide my issues with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (constant diarrhea).

If I had lived during caveman times, I would have been naturally selected out.

natural selection

Diarrhea is an embarrassing problem.

nothing weird here

And the all-girl mob always follows.

adventures with vrah bathroom

I would have to hold in diarrhea while peeing. Tortuously unsatisfying.

adventures with vrah grumble fuck

I would do anything to keep it from people.

Why Frozen's "Let it Go" was really written about me and chronic diarrhea

“Let it go….Let it go…”

Daily diarrhea before 9:00 am is one of my superpowers. When I went off to college, I continued to master the art of hiding my diarrhea problems. The professor of an 8:00 am art class had a strict attendance policy: be late more than twice, and get docked a letter grade.

I spoke with my art professor, hoping to garner sympathy for my case.

adventures with vrah stomach issues

She was unsympathetic.

fake problem

Nearing the end of college, I figured I should attempt adult things. So I got a summer internship.

It was the most courageous thing I had ever done.

I don't wanna

While I was abroad, I got a Facebook message about Melissa from someone I didn’t know.

adventures with vrah friends with sister

I was confused by the cryptic message.

adventures with vrah crazy facebook stranger

I questioned the cryptic message.

nothing could have happened

wrong

The Facebook stranger was the first to break the news to me.

I doubt the person had any idea how terrible it felt to receive earth-shattering news from a stranger via social media.

Why Frozen's "Let it Go" was really written about me and chronic diarrhea

A lot of things happened quickly.

Head first, I was cast from my coveted position as middle child.

cast out head first

A new sign formed above my head.

oh come on

I was given a new hat.

given a new hat

With Melissa gone, my time as pack leader had begun.

what the fuck

 

2 thoughts to “Oldest sister found dead; real tragedy occurs when middle sister assumes leadership role”

    1. Hi Lyna,

      Thanks for reading and for your sentiment. I appreciate the feedback, and I’m happy that you liked the storytelling! I hope you’ll continue to follow along with my comics and let me know your thoughts. I always enjoy hearing people’s reactions to them. 🙂

      -Sarah

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